In the absence of a supermarket...

When I imagined my life at 26, I certainly did not envision this. 

Lazy Saturday mornings reflecting on life over endless coffee, and baking my own crackers for an afternoon snack.

And what's more, even if I had imagined this, I would never have known how much I could love it.  How perfect it could be.

Scenes of Endless Sunshine

I am re-reading The Diary of Anne Frank with one of my students, and it is infinitely better this time round!  She really is like a little Barbery!  Or at least reading her journal has the same effect on my soul.  :)  

Here are some of my fave excerpts from today - too beautiful to not share!

"While others display their heroism in battle or against the Germans, our helpers prove theirs every day by their good spirits and affection." - p. 178

       "The best remedy for those who are frightened, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere they can be alone, alone with the sky, nature and God.  For then and only then can you feel everything is as it should be and that God wants people to be happy amid nature's beauty and simplicity.
As long as this exists, and that should be for ever, I know that there will be solace for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances." - p. 197

"This morning, when I was sitting in front of the window and taking a long, deep look outside at God and nature, I was happy, just plain happy.  As long as people feel that kind of happiness within themselves, the joy of nature, health, and much more besides, they'll always be able to recapture that happiness.
Riches, prestige, everything can be lost.  But the happiness in your own heart can only be dimmed; it will always be there, as long as you live, to make you happy again.
Whenever you're feeling lonely or sad, try going to the loft on a beautiful day and looking outside.  Not at the houses and the rooftops, but at the sky.  As long as you can look fearlessly at the sky, you'll know that you're pure within and will find happiness once more." - p. 198

"Her advice in the face of melancholy is 'Think about all the suffering in the world and be thankful you're not a part of it.' My advice is: 'Go outside, to the country, enjoy the sun and all nature has to offer.  Go outside and try to recapture the happiness within yourself; think of all the beauty in yourself and in everything around you and be happy.'
I don't think her advice can be right, because what are you supposed to do if you become part of the suffering?  you'd be completely lost.  On the contrary, beauty remains, even in misfortune.  If you just look for it, you discover more and more happiness and regain your balance." - p. 211

What a legend.

"Beautiful like a Bicycle"

I have been outside of Malawi too long.

You know how it goes…

Work piles up, you try to focus and do your best, study hard, be all you can be, blah dee blah….

Then suddenly you look up and think "hang on….  what am I doing!?  Look at that world out there!  What could possibly be possessing me to sit here working my life away??"

My tumbuka is rusty, my vision narrowed.

So this afternoon, off I went, bumping down the dirt path on good ol' frosty, revelling in the chorus of 'muzungu!'s and 'muatandala?'s following me as a rolled on my merry way.

But wait… Hmm….  Was it just me, or is the wheel supposed to turn when I pedal?  Hmmm…  Off to the cycle corner I went!

And as always, Malawi did not fail to make me smile…

"That is a beautiful bicycle!  And you are a beautiful woman! You are beautiful like a bicycle!"

"Pah hahhahahahahahaah" (That isn't just me laughing retrospectively…  I really did almost fall off my rock laughing…)

"It is not a joke!  Women and bicycles.  These are the two things that are very beautiful to us Malawians!"

and later... at yet another bicycle repair shop…. 

(in tumbuka)

"blah blah blah… anyways, she doesn't understand Tumbuka"

"She does! She does understand!"

"noooo She does not understand."

"yesssss she does"

"Well, I do understand a little…." (Nkupulika pachoko…)

"WAAAAAAA!!!!  She understands!!"

hahahahahhaahha  (This time it was all 3 of us falling off our coke crates laughing…)

So, if you are feeling like life is missing something crucial, go on and get out into the world!  And then once you are out there, see it!  Feel it!  Take it for what it is, and enjoy whatever it throws your way.

Me?  I am going to settle down here in the hammock with my paper, and…  AHHHHH!!!!  Chickens in my lemongrass patch!!!  Well, the paper will have to wait….  I am off to chase some chickens!

:) 

Just in Case

Pushing my bike up the hill just now, I ran through my to do list in my mind.  What is most urgent?  What have I been neglecting?  First I will do this….  then I will attack that…

I rolled down into my garden and greeted the builders.

"How is the house looking?!"

"Ahhh, well… it is fine… only now you cannot enter."

"Oh.  Umm… How long will it be before I can enter?"

"Um…  maybe 5 or 6 o clock?"

Oh noooo…..  My laptop!  My course readings!  My tumbuka revision! FOOD! TOILET!

"Oh…  that's ok…. I'll just go sit in the garden," I casually replied, while inside I shook at the prospect of two whole hours wasted swinging in the hammock, watching the colours of the landscape deepen as afternoon faded into evening.

Then I opened my bag, and voila - a small miracle.

First I spotted the newspaper I had slipped in earlier, just in case there were delays during my cycle ride.  

Next I spotted this notebook, and another 'just in case' item - this pen.

"Ah…  but none of that will do me any good if I starve before I get inside the house," I thought, not quite willing to believe my good fortune.

That's when I noticed, tucked away under piles of tumbuka story books (yes, I was also able to study tumbuka after all!), the freshly opened packet of raisins I had also tossed into my bag at the last minute.

Just in case.

So for all you who used to regularly laugh at the shape, size and weight of my over packed purse, you now have insight as to its contents, and the reasons I insist on packing such a thing around with me every where I go.  

You never know what the day will bring, but I feel confidant that I can almost always make it through, as long as I have my trusty notebook, a working pen, decent reading material, and an extra large packet of raisins.

Evening Skies

Such intensely opaque pastels should not even exist. yet there they are above me, blending so imperceptibly that they appear to be one constant hue.

Imagine a melting pot looking like this. If ever we could achieve such perfection, such a seamless balance of blending between independent and individual colours, would the world be so bad off?

Maybe a mosaic, for all its eclectic beauty, will always clash just a little too much. Perhaps it will always be a little ragged; a little hard around the edges.

But then could humanity ever really emulate an evening sky or an abstract work of art?

Perhaps not.

Or perhaps they are all one and the same.

Writing Free

Goodness I love the result when children are allowed to just write freely - free from spelling and grammar, full stops and commas and limitations of "full sentences". The children wrote beautifully during free write time today - expressively, rhythmically, and with so much emotion! I don't need to see it on paper to know it was the best writing they have done in weeks - regardless of the placement of capitals or full stops.


And, in turn, they inspired ME to write with them. For the first time in weeks!

Here is my humble contribution to our free write:

"The Lake. The seemingly endless lake. As if I could sail out and one day arrive back on the shores of my childhood.

Yet just beyond that dusty haze looms a mountain barrier. Mile upon mile of roads and hill and seas sprawling between those carefree days and I.

Here I sit, gazing upon twinkling blue and swaying green. Taking in the gentle splash of waves on the shore. All combining to create an illusion of drifting back through time. Faraway places recreated through the magic of the senses.

And beside me, those sweet souls who ensure I never grow old. who, with their carefree innocence, create a secret passage through which we can rediscover our own."

Happy Days :)